Kindergarten: The Big Adventure!

Luke started kindergarten this year and what an adventure it is - for both him and I. When my children are in the hands of others, my heart is as well. Luke is a sweet, intelligent little boy, and he definitely has his quirks. How will his teachers see him? Will they see his quirks as God-given unique characteristics that make him perfect for what God has planned for him? Will they see his potential and be excited to teach him? Thankfully, I know that Luke is not just in the hands of his teachers, he's in the hands of God, and so is my heart. Everyday I will choose not to worry about my little man Luke, but have faith that God is in control and will protect him. I will pray that he will learn and be happy, and when he is not happy, that he will remember that he is not alone.

During the 2nd week of school, Luke was a little afraid to go back and my mom wrote him a letter that said, "You are a super boy like David...[who] faced the things he feared because he knew he had God with him all the time." I will continue to point Luke to his Lord when he is afraid and teach him that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him (Phill. 4:13). And I will rejoice in the Lord when I hear Luke say to me, as he did last Friday, "I knew I could do it!"

My Lifeline

Life can be so hard and scary. Sometimes when I think about all of the things happening in the world and all of the challenges I and my family face, I feel like I can't breathe. I actually feel like I need an air machine with a long tube and a mouthpiece that I could suck the air out of to help me breathe. What is happening to me? I'm listening to the enemy's lies. I buy into the lie that my problems are bigger than God. I would never say my problems are bigger than God, but I act like it. 


The other night I heard a talk from Laurie Dodds, a Christian author and speaker, who said that Satan's ultimate goal is for us to doubt God. When I am overwhelmed, I pray, but do I trust? I don't realize I'm doubting God at the time, but isn't that what I'm doing? I pray and ask God to heal, guide, work miracles, use for his glory, but then do I believe He will? I should. That would be the start to my breathing.


Jesus said "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." My lifeline is Jesus. I don't need an air machine. I can breathe when I go to my life source. My air, my breath, began with God and it will continue through him:


Genesis 2:7  - Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.


John 20:22 - "And with that He breathed on them and said, 'Receive the Holy Spirit,'"

2 Timothy 3:16-17 - "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." (NIV)

I think the song,, "This is the air I breathe," describes it best:

This is the air I breathe

This is the air I breathe

Your holy presence

Living in me

This is my daily bread

This is my daily bread

Your very word

Spoken to me

And I ... I'm desperate for you

And I ... I'm lost without you

Thank you, God, for giving me your air to breathe.

What Am I Working For?

God blessed me early on in my life by giving me the desire to help and serve others. I always knew that whatever career I went into, I wanted it to be one in which I was helping. My parents, and especially my mother, helped me to cultivate that desire.

So I ended up working at M. D. Anderson, fulfilling my heart's desire - helping others who were going through really tough circumstances. However, when I had Hannah, my heart's desire changed somewhat. I still wanted to help others, but I desperately desired to be with her more so I could serve her entirely. Finally, 6 years and 2 children later, I was given my heart's desire to devote the entirety of my days to being a "homemaker." (That sounds so weird and archaic, but that's what I do and I love it!)

Even though God has provided these wonderful opportunities, work is work and not every part of it is really rewarding. Recently in church, Luke learned Colossians 3:17 - "Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father." Actually, he learned the 4-year-old version: "Whatever you do, do your work for the Lord." Our family has taken hold of this verse and made it our own. Its a great verse for Luke to remember when he's coloring, for Hannah to remember when she's doing her homework, and for me to remember when I'm having to do my least favorite chore: laundry! No matter what I am doing - my heart's desire or a task I don't really like that much - I am working for the Lord. God gave me this work, he has answered my heart's desire on more that one occasion, and I am working for Him.

And how can I be successful at this homemaking job? At M. D. Anderson, the administration takes great pains to recognize its employees and acknowledge them for a job well done. Recognition may not be so regular or immediate in the homemaking business. But I recently remembered this quote from Sr. Mary Lauretta - "To be successful the first thing to do is fall in love with your work." I realized that my heart is fickle. I fall in "love" with many things. My desire changes as my life and circumstances change. But to be successful in any of it, I need to keep falling in love with who I'm working for - my Lord, my Jesus. My heart's desire is really to glorify Him. And although I will rejoice in the rewards I am able to experience here on earth - my children's smiles, their right choices, etc., I will also strive to one day receive the greatest reward - to hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" Matthew 25:23.

A Letter from My Heavenly Daddy

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications © 1999-2011 www.FathersLoveLetter.com

One More Cup of Water

I must admit that by the time I started having children, I had completely forgotten the many trips my parents had taken to get me "one more cup of water" before I would finally go to sleep each night. I now remember my attempts at stalling the inevitable, and I also remember how patient and loving my parents were about getting me those cups of water. Unfortunately, my attitude has not always been so positive when getting that last cup of water. However, about a year ago, I came across Matthew 10:42:

And whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these little ones even a cup of cold water to drink; truly I say to you, he shall not lose his reward.

I realize I am completely taking this verse out of context - Jesus said this when He was sending the disciples out to proclaim His kingdom - but, I remember this verse every time one of my little ones asks for a cup of water. I know that every time I serve them in any way, I am serving the Lord, but it is easy to forget. Now, every time I'm making a late night run to the kitchen for another cup of water, I'm able to smile inside and know that I am serving my Lord and He is smiling down at me!

A Picture of Faith

John 15:12-13

12 This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you. 13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

In case I ever need to remember what trusting in God, and not in man, looks like:

Shocking photo created a hero, but not to his family

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/05/16/Zwerg.freedom.rides/index.html?iref=allsearch

The mob was already waiting for James Zwerg by the time the Greyhound bus eased into the station in Montgomery, Alabama.

This is an excerpt from John Blake's 2004 book "Children of the Movement."

Weeds

Yesterday, while our family worked in the yard, I weeded the flower beds. Later, while rocking Aaron to sleep, I thought about how those weeds grow so fast. They come up all over, even penetrating the plastic barrier under the mulch. They're not always ugly looking plants, and for all I know, they may have been the plants that flourished and made our land beautiful before it was covered with homes, schools, and churches; but they take away from the beauty of the design of our flower beds. They also take the nutrients that we want our plants to use to grow bright and beautiful.

Those weeds are so much like the sin in our lives. Some might say that our sins are a part of who we are and we need to accept them as part of what makes us beautiful and unique. Like David said in Psalms 51:5, "Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me." However, like the weeds in our yard, just because sin was in me first, it definitely doesn't make me more beautiful.

Like weeds, sin is strong and penetrating; it can sneak up in the blink of an eye. Even though we think we've pulled it up by its roots, it keeps coming back.

Thankfully, my Jesus said "...for I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners" (Matthew 9:13). "Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring [us] to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit..." (1 Peter 3:18). "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9.).

Dear God, thank you for calling me, a sinner, to you. Thank you for sending your son, Jesus, to save me from my sins. Thank you for always providing a way of escape from every temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Please take my weeds out, and help me to "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let [me] run with perseverance the race marked out for [me]" (Hebrews 12:1).

Victory for Tato

Yesterday, Joseph Dueñas, the father and grandfather of the Dueñas family, a family we hold very close and dear, went to be with our Lord. As he and his family have always made us feel like we are part of their family, we call him "Tato."

Tato's presence and smile seemed to bring peace to a room. When he spoke of Godly things, he brought wisdom. We will miss him.

After visiting Tato in the hospital last week, Hannah asked me why people have to die. Death is so mysterious. We live in a world in which it seems we can control almost everything. We can make plans and many times carry out our plans just as we have hoped. We can live as though there is nothing supernatural, like everything happens because we make it happen. But illness and death - they happen despite our well-made plans.

The short answer I gave Hannah last week was that we die because of sin. Paul said in Romans 5:12, "...just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned." That's very bad news, but I'm glad I have the good news to share with her!

Paul later says in Romans 6:23 that "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (I can't believe that there's not an exclamation point at the end of that sentence!) What good news! Jesus tells us how to receive this gift in John 5:24:

I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.

So, how is this possible? Isaiah, the prophet, told of what Jesus would do long before Jesus walked on this earth. Jesus "poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors" (Isaiah 53:12). He tells that the Christ "will swallow up death forever" (Isaiah 25:8).

So Tato has victory today - the victory that Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 15:55-56:

"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin,and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

We were blessed to know Tato and we continue to be blessed by his family. We are so thankful that God "made known to [Tato] the path of life" (Psalm 16:10) and that Tato followed it.

Wonderfully Made

On Saturday, we celebrated Luke's 4th birthday with a Mickey Mouse party, because Luke LOVES Mickey Mouse and likes to carry his Mickey Mouse toy everywhere. At the party we served Hot-Diggity dogs, Mick-a-Roni and cheese, Mickey Mouse cake and snow cones. For fun we played Pin-the-Tail on Mickey, hit a piñata, and bounced till dark on a big inflatable moonwalk in our back yard. It was a success - Luke really enjoyed it, and I think he felt very special. He wasn't the only one who had a great time - I loved it so much that I told Ramiro I would like to get a moonwalk for my birthday!

While running last-minute errands for the party on Saturday morning, I heard the song, "What Do I Know of Holy," by Addison Road. I've heard the song so many times, but Saturday I picked up on the words, "What do I know of you, who spoke me into motion?" I started thinking about how God spoke my beautiful children into motion (and boy are they moving)! He wasn't like me when I try to do something creative. When I begin to create my own recipe, make up a song, or draw a picture, I have an idea of what I want it to be, but I never really know what its going to be like until its done. My results usually have a lot more to do with a feeling, a whim, or chance rather than design. However, God created my children with careful, thoughtful, precision. Psalm 139:14 says:

I will give thanks to You, for

I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works,

And my soul knows it very well.

God created Luke, and all of us, in a specific, purposeful way, knowing exactly how we would turn out!

Luke is such a joy and brings laughter and happiness to all of those who know him. He has a big personality and a big voice - I can't wait to see what God has in store for him! Thank you, God, for giving us your wonderfully-made Luke!

She got it!

This morning Hannah and I read and talked about Proverbs 9:10 - "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." We mainly focused on the first part of the verse, because there's a lot to understand there before going on. We talked about why we fear the Lord, and what that type of fear looks like. We then talked about wisdom. I told her wisdom is "knowing what the right thing to do is." I know that's not good English, but after googling for the definition, I see that I was pretty close. We talked about how wisdom comes from God and that we can pray for wisdom everyday and he will give it to us.

After a good talk and a prayer, I went to go get ready to take her to school. I could see her mind working as I told her to go brush her teeth and make her bed. She said she would, but she wanted to show me something first. She ran away and came back with Dr. Seuss's book, "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" She turned to the 2nd page and read, "You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go." She then said with confidence and a smile, "That's not right. God has the directions, right?" I said, "You're right!"

I'm so proud of my sweet Hannah! Thanks to our dear Lord, she's becoming so wise!

I Want to be Beautiful

I admit it. I really want to be beautiful. Unfortunately, I sometimes let this desire torment me as I compare myself to others. My sinful nature takes this desire and turns it into insecurity that puts a shadow on God's love for me and my love for others.

Why did God give me this desire? Maybe it was the best incentive for me to strive for the gentle and quiet spirit he wants for me. For the past several weeks, my prayer each morning has been for God to give me a gentle and quiet spirit as talked about in 1 Peter 3: 3-6.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

A few weeks ago in Sunday school, our teacher asked what God was teaching us right now. He called on me and I said with a smile, "to be quiet." Ramiro chimed in a cute remark (I don't remember exactly what it was) but something that showed his great surprise to that revelation. Of course it gave everyone a good laugh. It was probably such a surprise, because although I start out with good intentions and a sincere heart, my sinful nature comes out way too often. As everyone who knows me can attest, especially those closest to me, I do not have a gentle and quiet spirit. I am passionate - I have robust thoughts and feelings that want to come out, sometimes at the most inopportune times. So those that I want to be the most beautiful for, see me at my ugliest.

Yesterday I visited Julie Goolsby, a friend who has that beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. I went to her for tips on organizing my day with my kids. She had no idea that God was working on making me gentle and quiet. When going through her books to find ones that she wanted to loan me, she gave me one that had "meek and quiet spirit" in the title. I know this was not a coincidence. This was God saying, "you're praying the right thing every morning, now let's work on it." Julie reminded me of another one of my favorite passages in Phillipians 4: 4-9.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Fear seems to be the poison here. 1 Peter references fear as a contrast to beauty. Phillipians 4 gives the remedy to that ugly fear and anxiety. This medicine is the daily dose I need to become beautiful.

How I want to cultivate this Godly beauty so that it can be seen by others! How I want to teach this to my sweet Hannah!

I'm so thankful to my Lord who put the desire to be beautiful in my heart and for his Spirit living in me that will give me the power to do so. And I will continue to pray each morning for that gentle and quiet spirit.

Loving God and Your Neighbor

Thanks to Project Gutenberg, which produces free ebooks, and to my husband who gave me an iphone, I have recently been able to re-read Agnes Grey, by Anne Bronte. The last time I read this book I think I was in high school, so I had forgotten the entire thing.

I love Christian romance novels (I know that sounds funny to lots of people!) This is a good one, even though it's probably never been classified as such. The hero in the story is a clergyman who at one point encourages a distressed older woman by reminding her about who God really is and describes how she can love her neighbor. I loved how it was written and thought others may like it as well. Here you go!

You say you cannot love God; but it strikes me that if you rightly consider who and what He is, you cannot help it. He is your father, your best friend: every blessing, everything good, pleasant, or useful, comes from Him; and everything evil, everything you have reason to hate, to shun, or to fear, comes from Satan—His enemy as well as ours. And for this cause was God manifest in the flesh, that He might destroy the works of the Devil: in one word, God is love; and the more of love we have within us, the nearer we are to Him and the more of His spirit we possess.”

‘“Well, sir,” I said, “if I can always think on these things, I think I might well love God: but how can I love my neighbours, when they vex me, and be so contrary and sinful as some on ’em is?”

‘“It may seem a hard matter,” says he, “to love our neighbours, who have so much of what is evil about them, and whose faults so often awaken the evil that lingers within ourselves; but remember that He made them, and He loves them; and whosoever loveth him that begat, loveth him that is begotten also. And if God so loveth us, that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us, we ought also to love one another. But if you cannot feel positive affection for those who do not care for you, you can at least try to do to them as you would they should do unto you: you can endeavour to pity their failings and excuse their offences, and to do all the good you can to those about you. And if you accustom yourself to this, Nancy, the very effort itself will make you love them in some degree—to say nothing of the goodwill your kindness would beget in them, though they might have little else that is good about them. If we love God and wish to serve Him, let us try to be like Him, to do His work, to labour for His glory—which is the good of man—to hasten the coming of His kingdom, which is the peace and happiness of all the world: however powerless we may seem to be, in doing all the good we can through life, the humblest of us may do much towards it: and let us dwell in love, that He may dwell in us and we in Him. The more happiness we bestow, the more we shall receive, even here; and the greater will be our reward in heaven when we rest from our labours.”

A Celebration of Life

This morning I experienced a wonderful hug of the heart. I attended a celebration of the life of David Robbins, the husband of my friend, Nancy, who I used to work with at M. D. Anderson. The service was full of joy and happiness. The reverend, James Tucker, began the service by quoting Karl Rahner, a Jesuit priest, who wrote that although we have no examples of Jesus laughing in scripture, He surely must have laughed, referencing His love of children and His performance of miracles. Can't you imagine Him laughing with the children and laughing in delight at the reactions of those who witnessed His miracles?

The reverend began the service this way because he said that David had a wonderful sense of humor and could bring joy and laughter to those around Him in almost any situation, even when his own heart was breaking. It reminded me of my grandmother who had that same great gift of making everyone smile, no matter what pain she might be experiencing. Oh that I would bring smiles and laughter and joy to those around me no matter my situation.

Just as Karl Rahner thought about Jesus laughing, I have often thought of Jesus hugging. One time in college I was preparing to lead a devotional and decided I wanted the topic to be hugs. However, as you probably know, I couldn't find one mention of a hug in the Bible. But Jesus must surely have loved hugging! A hug seems to me to be one of the best ways to express to someone that I hold them dear to my heart. Isn't that what Jesus's life, death, and resurrection was all about? Showing us all how dear we are to Him?

I'm thankful that I was able to celebrate David's life today and think about how I want to help others celebrate everyday.