Visiting M. D. Anderson

Today I came to M. D. Anderson Cancer Center to be with a friend for her first appointment at M. D. Anderson. As I drove up to the building I experienced a feeling I wasn't quite prepared for - I was homesick. I LOVE M. D. Anderson. It still feels like a second home to me. Much of my growing up was done here at M. D. Anderson. Some patients before they get here incorrectly imagine it as a place where death looms. Patients and employees know that it is a place of hope and life. While working here I learned so much about living and serving others. How surreal it is to be here and not be wearing a badge and assisting patients with their needs. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a full-time mom and wouldn't give it up for a second, but I am also so grateful that I had the opportunity to serve others and feel the love and joy of this place for so many years.

She got it!

This morning Hannah and I read and talked about Proverbs 9:10 - "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." We mainly focused on the first part of the verse, because there's a lot to understand there before going on. We talked about why we fear the Lord, and what that type of fear looks like. We then talked about wisdom. I told her wisdom is "knowing what the right thing to do is." I know that's not good English, but after googling for the definition, I see that I was pretty close. We talked about how wisdom comes from God and that we can pray for wisdom everyday and he will give it to us.

After a good talk and a prayer, I went to go get ready to take her to school. I could see her mind working as I told her to go brush her teeth and make her bed. She said she would, but she wanted to show me something first. She ran away and came back with Dr. Seuss's book, "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" She turned to the 2nd page and read, "You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go." She then said with confidence and a smile, "That's not right. God has the directions, right?" I said, "You're right!"

I'm so proud of my sweet Hannah! Thanks to our dear Lord, she's becoming so wise!

False Alarm!

Luke had a hands on learning experience about fire alarms yesterday! When you pull the alarm, it makes a piercing sound that hurts your ears. The firefighters then come to see if there is indeed a fire. If there is no fire, they turn the alarm off. You then get lectured about when it is okay to touch a fire alarm and when it is not. After that, you cannot leave your Mommy's side for a very long time!

Yesterday at Hannah's ballet class, the fire alarm went off. Of course, the first thing I did was cover Aaron's ears because it was so loud. Then I started wondering if there was really a fire, but then another Mommy saw that the fire alarm near us had been pulled. We knew it was either her son or Luke who probably pulled it, but her son was laying under a bench. We all scurried out, the little ballerinas took their class outside, and we waited for the fire department to arrive to turn off the alarm. After the alarm was turned off, the worker at the front desk came to question which boy pulled the alarm so I told her nobody saw, but it was probably Luke. She then started questioning him about his name and age for the report! She was definitely not happy! The firefighters, however, were very kind and laughed about the whole thing.

When we went back in, I looked at the fire alarm. It hangs very low on the wall and is not covered by a glass box or anything. I think that maybe Luke used it to try to climb up on the bench, but I don't know. Whoever placed that fire alarm in that location, must have never had small children!

After talking to my Mom and searching the internet, I found that pulling a fire alarm in a Texas school is a felony offense! I'm glad he's only 3 and that this happened now and not later. Hopefully he learned his lesson! Luke, you're such a handful!

Running the Race

Today marks 2 weeks since Ramiro ran his first half-marathon. Even though I was looking forward to that proud moment when Ramiro crossed the finish line, I wasn't too excited about waiting 2 hours in the rain for it to happen. (Especially since I forgot my umbrella!) What a pleasant surprise it was for me to find that the 2 hours were going to be filled with joy and celebration! I was able to see all of the 5K runners, some of the half-marathoners, and a few of the marathoners finish the race. It was so much fun to see all of the different kinds of people with different physical abilities and different personalities come together with their common goal of finishing the race.

The 5k run had a variety of runners and wheelers (athletes in wheelchairs). There were kindergarteners, tweens, teens, college kids, middle-agers, senior adults, and older senior adults. Some walked, some stayed at a comfortable jogging pace, and some sprinted to the finish. There were those who walked or ran just for fun, those who were there for a great cause, and those that walked or ran to show they had not been beaten by infirmity. Some wanted to be first (or close to it) and some just wanted to make it over the finish line. For some it was an achievement to just be there.

While watching the difference in how everyone approached the finish line, I couldn't help thinking about the way Paul talks about the way we are to live our life in 1 Corinthians 9:24:

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

It made me think about how I'm running the race. Am I running like I want to win, or like I am barely going to make it over the finish line?

Watching the runners was fun, but it was also fun being surrounded by all the great spectators. We were all there standing in the cold rain to cheer on and encourage our loved ones. Everybody was for someone, not against anyone. We didn't just cheer on those we knew, we cheered on all the participants. It was such a great feeling!

I am NOT a runner, but now I am sold on running. I want to be in the middle of all of the excitement! I am so glad that Ramiro started this hobby. Even if I can only walk/run a 5k, I want to be part of this running fun! Like Ramiro says, I don't want to be a sipper from the cup of life, but a gulper!

I Want to be Beautiful

I admit it. I really want to be beautiful. Unfortunately, I sometimes let this desire torment me as I compare myself to others. My sinful nature takes this desire and turns it into insecurity that puts a shadow on God's love for me and my love for others.

Why did God give me this desire? Maybe it was the best incentive for me to strive for the gentle and quiet spirit he wants for me. For the past several weeks, my prayer each morning has been for God to give me a gentle and quiet spirit as talked about in 1 Peter 3: 3-6.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

A few weeks ago in Sunday school, our teacher asked what God was teaching us right now. He called on me and I said with a smile, "to be quiet." Ramiro chimed in a cute remark (I don't remember exactly what it was) but something that showed his great surprise to that revelation. Of course it gave everyone a good laugh. It was probably such a surprise, because although I start out with good intentions and a sincere heart, my sinful nature comes out way too often. As everyone who knows me can attest, especially those closest to me, I do not have a gentle and quiet spirit. I am passionate - I have robust thoughts and feelings that want to come out, sometimes at the most inopportune times. So those that I want to be the most beautiful for, see me at my ugliest.

Yesterday I visited Julie Goolsby, a friend who has that beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. I went to her for tips on organizing my day with my kids. She had no idea that God was working on making me gentle and quiet. When going through her books to find ones that she wanted to loan me, she gave me one that had "meek and quiet spirit" in the title. I know this was not a coincidence. This was God saying, "you're praying the right thing every morning, now let's work on it." Julie reminded me of another one of my favorite passages in Phillipians 4: 4-9.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Fear seems to be the poison here. 1 Peter references fear as a contrast to beauty. Phillipians 4 gives the remedy to that ugly fear and anxiety. This medicine is the daily dose I need to become beautiful.

How I want to cultivate this Godly beauty so that it can be seen by others! How I want to teach this to my sweet Hannah!

I'm so thankful to my Lord who put the desire to be beautiful in my heart and for his Spirit living in me that will give me the power to do so. And I will continue to pray each morning for that gentle and quiet spirit.

Good Night Baby, Good Night Mommy!

Last night was the first good night Aaron and I have had in almost 2 weeks! He's had a lot of changes in these past 2 weeks. First, the doctor said we should go ahead and start feeding him solids. Although he has put away his rice cereal, applesauce, and sweet potatoes like I put away a good, thick chocolate shake (as though it may be taken away from me forever if I don't eat it as fast as possible), his tummy has not adjusted as well as his taste buds. So, he's had a little tummy trouble. Then, it seems, that overnight he grew too big for his cradle that he's slept in next to our bed since the night he came home from the hospital, so we moved him into his baby bed in his big brother's room. Not only did he outgrow the cradle, he also outgrew his receiving blankets that we've swaddled him in since day one. No wonder he hasn't been able to get a good night's sleep! But last night, that all changed thanks to a miracle product called "Swaddle Me" that comes in a large size and promises to fit babies up to 9 months! :) We put him in the swaddling clothes (which he resisted at first) and voilà! He slept through the night and so did I! Now that the baby is sleeping in his own room, we can get back to working on Hannah and Luke sleeping a whole night in their own rooms. Too bad they don't make swaddling clothes for ages 3 to 6!

Loving God and Your Neighbor

Thanks to Project Gutenberg, which produces free ebooks, and to my husband who gave me an iphone, I have recently been able to re-read Agnes Grey, by Anne Bronte. The last time I read this book I think I was in high school, so I had forgotten the entire thing.

I love Christian romance novels (I know that sounds funny to lots of people!) This is a good one, even though it's probably never been classified as such. The hero in the story is a clergyman who at one point encourages a distressed older woman by reminding her about who God really is and describes how she can love her neighbor. I loved how it was written and thought others may like it as well. Here you go!

You say you cannot love God; but it strikes me that if you rightly consider who and what He is, you cannot help it. He is your father, your best friend: every blessing, everything good, pleasant, or useful, comes from Him; and everything evil, everything you have reason to hate, to shun, or to fear, comes from Satan—His enemy as well as ours. And for this cause was God manifest in the flesh, that He might destroy the works of the Devil: in one word, God is love; and the more of love we have within us, the nearer we are to Him and the more of His spirit we possess.”

‘“Well, sir,” I said, “if I can always think on these things, I think I might well love God: but how can I love my neighbours, when they vex me, and be so contrary and sinful as some on ’em is?”

‘“It may seem a hard matter,” says he, “to love our neighbours, who have so much of what is evil about them, and whose faults so often awaken the evil that lingers within ourselves; but remember that He made them, and He loves them; and whosoever loveth him that begat, loveth him that is begotten also. And if God so loveth us, that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us, we ought also to love one another. But if you cannot feel positive affection for those who do not care for you, you can at least try to do to them as you would they should do unto you: you can endeavour to pity their failings and excuse their offences, and to do all the good you can to those about you. And if you accustom yourself to this, Nancy, the very effort itself will make you love them in some degree—to say nothing of the goodwill your kindness would beget in them, though they might have little else that is good about them. If we love God and wish to serve Him, let us try to be like Him, to do His work, to labour for His glory—which is the good of man—to hasten the coming of His kingdom, which is the peace and happiness of all the world: however powerless we may seem to be, in doing all the good we can through life, the humblest of us may do much towards it: and let us dwell in love, that He may dwell in us and we in Him. The more happiness we bestow, the more we shall receive, even here; and the greater will be our reward in heaven when we rest from our labours.”